The Shopping ScrewUp
by DeepShadows2
Summary: Spinoff by Ecko. Alexis takes Artimis, Severus and Remus to WalMart, and thats when all the fun begins... Results in them almost getting kicked out... R&R please...


**Shopping Screw-Up  
**By: EckoStalker

**Disclaimer:** Severus, Remus, and the Wizarding World belongs to J. K. Rowling. I own Alexis Whyte and the plot, and Deep Shadows, my crazy companion, owns Artimis Callabella.

**Author's Notes:** A spin off from **_Seven Years Later_**, sequel to **_The Misfit Adventures.  
_**I, got bored. Yes. Plus, I love Wal-Mart. Go ahead, laugh all you want, cause, you know you shop there and love it just as much.

* * *

"Come on! Can you be any slower?" Alexis Whyte hollered from the doorway.

"Alright damnit! Quit hollering!" Drifted in from upstairs, and Alexis smiled in satisfaction. Remus sauntered in, wearing blue jeans and a button up brown shirt. Alexis was adorned in all white camouflage; white camo flares, form fitting white camo shirt, even a white camo baseball cap, which was turned backwards and perched upon a head of short white hair. It was a new outfit, and she was in the mood to show off.

Artimis stumbled down the last flight of winding stairs, hoisting her miniature purse onto her shoulder. She was dressed in Muggle clothes also, in dark, blue jean shorts and a silver tank top with writhing black snakes twisting along the hems.

"Where the hell are we going again?" Artimis asked in annoyance.

"One of the grand achievements of the Muggle World." Alexis replied intriguingly. Artimis cocked her head in confusion, then looked over at Severus Snape, who rested lowly in a cushioned armchair at the far end of the foyer, head hidden behind a dusty book, hoping to go unnoticed. No such luck.

"Sev, I'm scared." Artimis mumbled in his direction.

He sighed in agitation. "You should be." He growled, not bothering to look up from his book.

"Come with us so I'm not the only one clueless?"

"No."

"Please?"

"NO."

Artimis frowned. "Spoil sport." She grumbled dejectedly. Alexis thought for a quick moment, the grinned. Shrugging nonchalantly, she stated casually. "Fine Sevvie. I guess that you don't care either that once we leave, the Twins will be the only ones to keep you company."

Severus stiffened, eyes halted from scanning the white pages in front of him as he listened intently. Remus caught on and hid a smirk as he stated. "Oh, and they're in one of their experimental moods. Might want to go and lock yourself in your room and hope they don't blow apart the door... again."

With that, all three turned to the door, smirking knowingly. A slam of a book echoed around the foyer, and the scraping of a chair being pushed back. They all turned in mock surprise, watching Snape stand dignified-like and smoothing out his cloaks. He tramped towards them sulkily, stopping in front of Alexis.

"And if you _ever_ call me Sevvie again, your tongue will be removed." He hissed lowly, then whisked out the door. Alexis made a face to his back, and then turned to Artimis proudly, seeing her grinning broadly.

"Shall we depart?" Alexis bowed partially. Artimis stood tall.

"We shall." she answered, also bowing and tramping out the door airily, Remus shaking his head in amusement as he followed the two.

As they sauntered up to Alexis's deep blue jeep wrangler, they viewed Severus already situated in a back seat and avoiding eye contact, looking sullen. They hopped in without a word, but with more than enough smirks, Alexis driving, Artimis passenger, and Remus next to Snape in the back.

"Seatbelts? Check... Money? Check... CDs? Check... Camera? Check... Alright! Let's get rocking!" Alexis yelled happily, cranking the engine to life with a loud roar. Severus rolled his eyes, head in hand and staring out the side. Artimis stuck in a Good Charlotte CD, spinning the knob to MAX as Alexis peeled out the driveway, burning rubber as she threw it into gear and squealed off, both young women singing at the top of their lungs.

----------------------------------------------------

"Alrighty then. Be prepared for a new experience." Alexis announced as they spun into a vacant space in a huge and populated parking lot dotted with vehicles of all shapes and sizes. The sun shone brightly upon the group, the sharp scent of car oil and greasy fast food heavy in the air. Alexis jumped out of the jeep and flourished her arms dramatically.

"Welcome, to Wal-Mart. The Diagon Alley of the Muggle world."

Artimis's mouth dropped as she gazed with brilliantly blue eyes upon the huge department store where streams of humans bustled in and out like a colony of ants. Probably just as mindless too. Even Snape seemed a bit surprised, coal black eyes slightly widened with wonder and suspicion. Remus merely looked around in mild interest, pretty familiar with the place from his numerous outings with his adopted daughter, Alexis.

Everyone extracted themselves from the tall vehicle as Alexis bounced on her heels energetically, emerald green eyes sparkling with energy. Artimis stopped and scrutinized Severus, then suggested.

"Um, maybe you'd be best off leaving your cape, I mean cloaks, in the jeep for now. Might attract too much attention."

"And, that's a bad thing how?" Alexis quipped, grabbing her wallet from the glove box.

Severus sneered half heartedly, though seeing her point. So he grudgingly removed his billowing black robes, also deftly shedding the heavily buttoned and collared frock over shirt, now wearing only black boots, black slacks, and a plain white tee shirt.

Remus raised an eyebrow and commented. "You always look so depressing."

"Knowing these two for this long does that to a person." he sneered darkly.

"Well, maybe just you." Remus replied, ignoring his stabbing glares.

"Good one." Artimis snickered.

"Come on, we've got plenty other things to do today then just insult Snape." Alexis hurried, activating the alarm system on the Wrangler from a key chain. Artimis gazed at her in psuedo shock. "You? Too busy to torment Snape? I'm disappointed." Artimis shook her head. Alexis smirked and stated simply. "Never. It's just that it would be more fun. Seeing as with all these Muggles around, he won't be able to do nothing about it."

Severus sighed, knowing this was going to be a long day.

As they approached the entrance and sliding glass doors, Artimis and Severus became a bit edgy. It seemed easy enough, the doors opened for all the Muggles, but would they open for them? Alexis and Remus breezed through without a second glance, stopping for the other two to catch up.

The two purebloods glanced at each other in confusion, and then Artimis hesitantly stepped forward, jumping as the glass doors whooshed open. She bolted through and spun around as they swished shut behind her. She smirked at Severus through the glass, and he sneered back.

He inclined his head proudly as he confidently sauntered through the sliding doors. He raised an eyebrow in challenge at Artimis, and then heard a whirring sound as the doors began to slide shut, with him still in the way. He jolted forward in surprise, glaring harshly at the technology. There was a quick flash of bright light and Remus laughed aloud, Artimis hiding snickers as Alexis quickly hid the camera from sight, grinning mischievously.

Severus straightened up, smoothing his shirt and ignoring them. "Are we going to just stand here all day? I would like to get this over with." He growled, folding his arms.

Shaking their heads, they turned into the entrance, Artimis and Severus gazing around in unconcealed astonishment.

Hundreds of people with crammed baskets and loaded carts shoved and bulldozed their way past one another on singular quests to snatch everything and anything that they desired. And there was a lot of everything. A good portion of the huge department store consisted of stands and freezers stocked full of bags and boxes of every Muggle dish and ingredient thought of. The rest of the store was jammed with tall aisles loaded with items and knickknacks for most every activity, be it sensible or not. Clothes racks created a jungle of paths on a carpeted section of floor, and the whole front area of the place was lined with moving counters from whence irritating beeps, mechanical clicks, and the rustling of material grated on a person's ears to the point of madness.

Young people dressed in outrageous outfits that made Alexis seem normal, middle aged adults dragged screaming children and warring teens, and old couples shuffled about or rammed people with their infernal motorized wheelchairs. All together, Wal-Mart displayed perfectly the Muggle, or just plain human, nature.

There was another bright flash as Alexis snapped another picture of their gawking expressions, and Artimis slapped her sharply. She scowled, and then turned into the store; hand on chin as she thought aloud.

"Hmmm... Where to first... a delicate operation... Aha! I got it!" She snapped her fingers, and then bounced off as the others hurried to keep up with her before she was lost in the crowd.

"Where are we going Whyte?" Severus yelled breathlessly as he tried to weave through the bodies without touching any of them.

"You'll see!" She yelled back happily, suddenly disappearing around a tall aisle of what seemed to be tanks of fish. Awed almost to the point of fearfulness, they all tried desperately to follow her, Remus disappearing after a moment as well. Keeping the occasional flash of dazzling white hair in their sights, Severus and Artimis stumbled and pushed on, muttering 'pardons' and 'excuse mes', almost holding hands in their attempt to not lose themselves in the crazed throngs of humans. Suddenly Artimis stopped, looking around curiously as she sniffed the air.

"I smell... leather... oohhhh..." Artimis mumbled dreamily, looking through an opening in the crowd.

She gasped.

"SHOES!" she cried, sprinting over to several stock filled aisles of footwear that stretched along the walkway. Severus rolled his eyes, stumbling into a rack of shirts on the opposite side of the shoe aisles as a stout woman rammed by. He glared, and then turned in annoyance as his name was shouted.

"Over here!" Alexis yelled, jumping to be seen above another of the hundreds of clothes racks. He glanced over at Artimis once more, seeing her reverently handle a pair of leather boots and holding them under her nose like a drug. He sighed, shook his head and stalked over to a bouncing Alexis.

"Okay, I need you to just stand there for a minute... Remus! Come on!" She yelled, as she looked Snape up and down. Lupin strolled in from an unknown location, smirking as he carried over a pile of multicolored articles of clothing.

"Alright, let's see..." Alexis muttered to herself busily as she surveyed the pile. Artimis's voice drifted over to them as she squealed with delight. "Look! These ones even have heels!"

"That's great honey, don't choke now..." Alexis yelled back distractedly. "Hey, this one looks good..."

She extracted a teal blue button up shirt with neon green and light blue hibiscus flowers on it, and held it up to Severus's chest. "Looks about his size..."

"What are you doing?" Severus asked in confusion, staring at the shirt with distaste.

"I hate your wardrobe, way too bland. So I'm buying you some new clothes.

"Here, try this one..." Remus said amusingly, pulling out a bright yellow shirt with neon orange and red flames.

"Oh forget this..." Severus countered, stepping back away from the two.

"Oh come on! Don't even _you_ get bored of black and white at times!" Alexis snapped, walking towards him as he backed up fearfully. She quieted suddenly as she zoned in upon a Wal-Mart employee walking by in their trademark bright blue vest. Alexis smirked evilly, pushing the shirts into Severus's arms.

"Hold on just a sec..." she mumbled as she dove forward into a clothes rack, silently stalking the unsuspecting employee.

"Oh dear, let's hope she don't get caught again..." Remus sighed, knowing he couldn't stop her as she disappeared around an aisle, not ten feet from her victim. Severus dropped the shirts the shirts into Remus's arms in disgust.

"Fine, _I'll_ help choose your new wardrobe... expect to find your dresser refilled by tomorrow."

Severus sneered at him unjokingly; following him towards the shoe aisles to make sure Artimis hadn't given herself a heart attack.

Smack in the middle of one carpeted hall, Artimis sat nestled amongst numerous strewn about boxes and clumps of footwear, holding two different shoes in both hands while examining another pair on her feet. She had snatched platform flip flops, knee high boots, dress shoes with pencil thin heels, snakeskin imitations, and whatever other whacked out styles she could find, clearly in her glory as she tried on each pair at least twice. She looked up at the two professors in an almost drugged daze.

"So... many... varieties... I'll _never_ diss Muggle fashion again, I swear..." Artimis stammered. Remus laughed, as Severus looked just plain lost.

They distantly heard a sharp yell and the slapping of heels on linoleum. Alexis skidded into view, falling into the shelves as she grinned crazily. She struggled to put on the same blue vest that they had just seen on the Wal-Mart employee not even two minutes ago. She grabbed Artimis's wrist and her original shoes, jerking her to her feet.

"We have to bolt. NOW." She spoke breathlessly, pushing all three of them out the opposite way. They heard the angry voice of some enraged person, but Alexis rushed them all out of range, a proud smile on her face as she wore her prize, the white 'How May We Help You?' lettering on the back of the vest reflecting the light.

"Okay, I think we're safe now..." Alexis whispered, peeking around the corner of the hair accessories aisle.

"But I wasn't done looking at the shoes..." Artimis whined as she fell into Severus while trying to put on her own shoes. He pushed her away in annoyance as Remus shook his head and walked across the walkway towards a shelf of power tools.

"Sometimes sacrifices must be made..." Alexis sighed dramatically, picking up a red ribbon and attempting to situate it in Severus's hair.

"For whose benefit." Severus sneered sarcastically as he slapped her hand away, gazing around in disinterest. But then something caught his eye and curiosity got the best of him. The two young women ignored him as Artimis tried putting a clip of bright orange fake hair on Alexis's head as Alexis tied the ribbon into Artimis's own.

On the far wall was a small section of an assortment of different colored boxes. He walked closer for a better look. He had never even heard of what they were calling this strange item, nor he ever seen such an item. Hesitantly, he reached out and took down a pink box, inspecting it closely as he raised an eyebrow. All the text and words covering the box contained innuendo to something else that he guessed he should've known, but completely evaded him. He turned the box over and over, trying to figure out what.

Remus, now bored with the tools, decided to taunt Severus on whatever he was doing at the moment. It was one of his favorite pastimes. He entered the aisle where he first left the others, seeing Artimis and Alexis wrestling each other for the right to decorate the other's head with pink hair clips. He smirked, and then looked up to find Snape. He immediately turned red as he noticed Severus studying a box of tampons.

Holding back his laughter, he pulled Alexis to her feet and took out the camera from her bag. He ran up beside Severus and quickly snapped a picture as he gazed at him in confusion.

Artimis and Alexis gawked at Severus, looked at each other, and then fell to the floor, laughing hysterically as Severus questioned. "And what is so funny?"

Artimis got up with some difficulty, face flushed as she tried to catch her breath. She gently took the box of tampons out of his hands and placed it back on the shelf.

"Severus, there are some things in this world that you do not really need to know..." Artimis told him.

Alexis, still prone on the cold linoleum, looked out into the walkway as she gasped for breath. Her eyes widened and she jumped up.

"He's come back for the vest! Quick! Evasive action!" Alexis whispered harshly, scrambling backwards to hide behind the aisle, clutching the Wal-Mart vest tightly to her. Remus whispered back," This would be the third time you were kicked out Alexis, you may want to lay off for a while after this." He warned her, leaning casually against a shelf.

"Where's the fun in that?" Alexis scoffed, diving out of sight as three employees walked by, one of them vest less. Severus smirked and started forward after them, but Artimis latched onto his arm. "Now now Sev. Play fair..."

"Should have thought of that before you dragged me here... and don't call me Sev!" He snapped, snatching his arm away from her.

"Okay, they're gone Alexis... Alexis?" Artimis spoke, not hearing any reply from her friend. She looked around the corner where she had disappeared. The aisle was empty. "Alexis?" she called again, walking the length of the aisle and emerging into a very large and colorful toy section of the department store. She gazed around in wonder, catching a flash of movement. She entered the aisle beside her. She viewed Alexis picking up a large plastic helmet and placing it on her head. As the sorceress turned, Artimis recognized the helmet as a rendition of Darth Vader's from the Muggle flicks called Star Wars. She smiled widely as she looked around and picked out a shelf where several objects caught her eye.

"Hey, Lexy!"

Alexis spun around to face Artimis and instinctively caught an object that was thrown to her. Artimis smirked as she swung the green plastic light saber, posing dramatically. Alexis smiled under her helmet and raised her glowing red light saber, lowering her voice deeply as she spoke. "Ah, Jedi Callabella. We meet again..."

Artimis emitted a war cry as she ran forward and swung at her. Alexis ducked and spun, clashing with her companion's 'weapon' as it rushed towards her head again. "Yes, and this time I will be victorious." Artimis said proudly, twisting her saber and spinning away gracefully. Alexis turned around slowly, breathing harshly into the mask. "So you think. The Dark Side is so much more powerful. Severus would know..." Alexis growled as she noticed the Potion's Master entering the aisle. He scowled at her as Remus jumped in, raising a blue light saber.

"Ha. You need a partner to even out the competition..." Alexis rasped deeply.

"Nervous, are we?" Remus taunted.

Alexis ran forward and ducked low as the other two swung simultaneously. She slid between them, bashing Remus on the back. He stumbled forward, giving Artimis room to swing and clobber Alexis upside her head. She fell back a step, then laughed maniacally. A few parries and thrusts ensued between them, and Artimis spun away to let Remus have a go. Alexis backed up to catch her breath.

"Having trouble are we? Forfeit now and I will spare you a most painful death." Remus spoke nobly, smiling.

"You wish..." Alexis mumbled as she ran forward and swung up. Remus parried and jumped back, twirling the saber, and swinging it low at her feet. Alexis jumped over it and slapped Remus in the side with her weapon. He fell back dramatically, and Artimis cried out in mock distress. She ran at Alexis in a fury, and Alexis barely had time to back up as Artimis swung continually. Alexis found an opening and jabbed her in the stomach just as Artimis jabbed hers. They froze, and then tumbled to the ground. Remus stood and laughed, folding up his toy light saber. Alexis and Artimis twitched once more, then bust out laughing as well, scaring a few ten year olds at the end of the hall.

"Hey, let's gang up on Snape..." Artimis suggested, rising to her knees.

"Great idea, but, where'd he go?" Alexis asked quizzically, looking around. Severus was nowhere in sight. Remus gazed around the end of the aisle, and smiled as he gestured for the two young women. They tiptoed over and peeked around the corner.

Growing fed up with the childish Misfits, Severus decided to scout around on his own. All the colors and assorted boxes started to make him feel uncomfortable. He never knew how spoiled these Muggle children could be. This entire section was devoted to them alone. He came to the conclusion that some people just had too much time on their hands.

Walking over to a lower shelf, he started sorting through modeling kits and toy chemistry sets. He shook his head, almost disgusted at such poor replicas. An overdramatic title caught his eye on a large bright blue box. It read, **'Children's Wizard Kit'**. On the side it exclaimed, **'Create your own Magical Potions and amaze your friends with the surprising results! Includes: wizard wand, hat, five different potion's packets, and spell book.'**

Severus laughed aloud as he read the box. The things these people would create for money. It was ridiculous. But, there was no harm in checking it out. To be on the safe side. He secretively undid the taping and started pulling out the contents. Holding up the wand, he muttered a spell. Nothing happened. _Why would there... it's a muggle toy..._

He scrutinized the 'potions' packets, searching for any signs of dangerous ingredients or chemicals. For all he knew, these muggles could've put something in this that had the potential to disintegrate a house.

There was a bright flash, and Severus spun around. Another bright flash blinded him momentarily, and he viewed Alexis aiming a camera at him.

"Do you mind Whyte?"

"No not at all."

He scowled at her and hastily pushed the contents of the kit to the side.

"Anything of interest Sev?"

"Why Remus, do you want a look?" Severus replied sarcastically. Remus frowned, and disappeared back behind the aisle. Artimis sauntered up and looked over the box he was just investigating. She raised an eyebrow and gazed up at him with a look of amused interest.

"What? Never know what these Muggles are capable of..."

Artimis laughed and walked back towards Alexis, who was walking toward an aisle stocked with small cartons with pictures of people with all colors of hair. Alexis gazed around as Artimis studied a few. She read one off. "Intense Bleach Blonding? Alexis, what the hell does that mean?"

She took the box and held up to her head. She shook her head in disgust. "You'd look too weird as a blonde." She turned to the shelf, picking up another box and holding it up to Artimis's head. "You know, we can always dye Remus's hair purple when he's sleeping... I bet he wouldn't catch on for at _least_ a few hours. Enough for him to make it to the Great Hall for lunch. We'd have to find an excuse to visit..."

"OH! _This _is hair dye? Okay... I get it now... yeah, let's buy a box..." Artimis exclaimed.

A childish voice drifted to them from an unseen location.

"Shane, look at that guy... he looks like a vampire."

"Nuh uh."

"Yeah huh. Look! He's all chalk white and has black hair... see, right there! I _swear _I saw pointed teeth..."

"Dude, he's scary looking... Hey Molly! Cm'over here!"

"What?" another younger voice asked.

"Don't that man over there look like that dude from 'A Vampire Bit My Uncle'?"

"Where... whoa! He does... Guys, I think he his..."

"Well, then we better do something about it..."

Artimis and Alexis looked at each other with the widest and evilest grins yet. The scrambled to the corner and peeked around it. Three children, two boys and a girl, the oldest looking about seven years old, were slowly sneaking up to a distracted Severus. The girl carried a plastic baseball bat, one boy carried a toy sword, and the other wore a pair of large foam boxing gloves, all three looking dead serious, bent on their mission. Artimis started giggling, and Alexis slapped a hand over her mouth, a look of eager anticipation on both their faces. The oldest boy stood straight, coming out from behind a bike.

"Get him! Get the vampire!" he cried, and the other two chimed in with inarticulate screams of fury. Severus looked up in shock, frozen in place as he watched the three children charge him with their chosen weapons.

Severus stumbled back a step, but was immediately set upon by the young ones. They yelled as they continuously beat and slapped him with the toys, and all Severus could do was cringe and cower as they cornered him against the wall. Alexis quickly snapped several pictures, having a difficult time though due to her convulsive laughter. Severus vainly tried to push them away, but they wouldn't give him a chance.

"Molly! Shane! Steven! Get away from the man! What has gotten into you three!" A homely looking woman yelled, running up and yanking the kids off Snape. Now on his knees, Severus looked up at her and the kids in stunned amazement.

"Oh my gosh... I am so sorry, sir... I don't... they were just..." She stammered apologetically, turning red as she attempted to gain control over the children.

Severus glared and slowly stood up. "You should be exacting more discipline on them... one day they will attack the wrong person and..."

"I said they were sorry sir. They are just children." The woman spoke defensively, pulling the kids back as they continued yelling at Snape.

"Regardless. You apparently can't control them..." Severus growled, dusting himself off. The woman glared and snapped sharply. "And you sir need to learn to not be such a hardass..." She turned and stomped off, the kids laughing as they followed her. Severus watched after her in amazement. Artimis and Alexis by this time were rolling on the floor, holding their sides, as they laughed so hard that they cried.

"Oh... c, can't breath... st... stop it..." Alexis gasped out, doubling over in laughter. Artimis attempted to stand, but one look from Severus and she fell to the floor.

"B, better watch o... out, Alexis... He... he... he might b, bite us..." Artimis laughed out, and they fell into another fit of laughter. Severus stalked towards them, a look of murderous intent on his features. He stumbled though and fell against a shelf as a thick, foam nerf ball slammed him in the back of the head. He spun around, and Remus ducked out of sight, holding two more of the balls, grinning crazily.

"Great shot!" Alexis shouted, trying to pull Artimis to her feet.

Severus yelled. "Damn you all! Just let me catch you alone..." Another ball smacked him slam in the forehead. Artimis pointed and laughed, but was cut off sharply as she was pelted as well. Alexis laughed at both of them, and they glared at her, affronted. They heard a deep chuckle, and suddenly Alexis was on her back, yet another ball bouncing off her head.

"Remus!" All three yelled in unison, and echoes of footsteps running the other way reached their ears. With one glance at each other, they stood and split up, each going down a different aisle.

Severus kept a sharp eye out for the Werewolf, quietly padding down the walkway. He stopped and smirked, finding something even better.

Artimis was acting all secret agent, crawling along the ground as she discreetly looked around a corner. She stopped and stood, the coast clear. It was quiet, too quiet. She heard a noise and spun, backing against the shelf, and grabbing the nearest toy as a shield. All she saw was a little five year old pushing a toy car down the opposite way. She sighed and turned back. Her eyes widened in shock and she cried out as she glimpsed black and got a face full of nerf ball before being knocked to the hard floor.

Alexis was singing the Mission: Impossible theme song under her breath as she crouched and swiftly ran down her aisle. She held her hands up, grasping a foam dart gun as she stopped and sat on her heels, preparing to dash across the next aisle. A sharp cry told her that Artimis had been hit. She took a deep breath and rolled into the open, aiming the toy in front of her. She glimpsed a familiar form at the end of the row, his back to her. She smirked and pointed the toy at Remus, closing one eye. Then she sprawled forward along the ground, watching the ball that hit her from behind roll into view. She shook her head in confusion, getting to her knees. In front of her, Remus spun around, spotting her. She barely had time to gasp as he pelted her once more. She rolled onto the ground. Looking up and viewing Severus running back the other way.

"Damn him..."

Artimis searched for the secret arsenal of nerf balls, and found a few strays instead. She knew Severus was in on this now, and she wouldn't be left defenseless. She saw him dash across the aisle in front of her, oblivious to her presence. She followed him until he stopped by the puzzle section. She stood tall and threw the ball into the air. She caught it as she called out. "Hey Grease head!" Severus spun and Artimis pelted him in the face. She laughed and dove out of sight.

Remus hid behind a tall box full of swimming noodles. He risked a glance, and saw no one. He hesitantly stepped out and froze in shock as Artimis and Severus stepped out from two different aisles. Simultaneously, they aimed and fired. Remus fell to the ground as the balls struck him. Severus smirked in satisfaction and Artimis giggled. Remus rose to his knees, holding his head. Alexis's sing song voice drifted to them. "Oh bud-dies! I've got sumthin fooor yooouuuu!"

They looked at each other and each grabbed a loose nerf ball. They headed out to the main aisle, following her taunting laughter. They stepped out, foam balls at the ready, but she was nowhere in sight. They lowered them in confusion, searching around.

"Hey dorks! Over here!" They spun around and looked up, mouths dropping in shock. Alexis grinned at them from on top of a giant, netted bin crammed full of huge, rubber bouncy balls. They knew that one broken string of the netting could send all the balls crashing down, and apparently, so did Alexis. She waved a pair of scissors at them, smirking mischievously. They backed up a step. "You wouldn't dare..." Severus uttered quietly.

"Oh really? Watch me." And with that, she leaned down and casually snipped a string. All three cried out as an avalanche of the abnormally large balls flowed from the rip in the netted bin. One step was all they could take before being buried under the weight of them.

Alexis laughed maniacally, still holding on at the top of the bin as she watched Artimis and the two professors fall. Her mission had been fulfilled. After a few moments of intense struggling, she saw an arm here and a leg there pop out, and eventually they got their heads up. They glared up at Alexis almost directly above them, breathing heavily, though shocked speechless. They heard confused yelling, knowing some of the employees were coming to investigate. And none of them could get out of this that easily.

Alexis looked around fearfully, not expecting this. With her nervous movements and the unstableness of the empty, flimsy bin, it wobbled dangerously, Alexis holding on for dear life. It swayed to and fro for a few agonizing seconds, Alexis growing dizzier as Artimis, Remus, and Severus looked up at her in shock. Then, with a sharp yelp, Alexis lost her grip and tumbled down. Artimis cried out and all three tried to pull away, but were stuck. Unable to move, Alexis crashed down upon them, knocking the breath out of every single one of them just as five Wal-Mart employees skidded around the corner.

Severus pushed Alexis off him roughly, and Alexis rolled away, holding her side. Remus dragged himself out from under Artimis, and Artimis sat up dizzily. All four looked up guiltily.

"Um... wh, where did you g... get that h, haircut? It l, looks s... spiffy..." Alexis stammered sheepishly, smiling slightly. Artimis slapped her across the head.

----------------------------------------------

"Never again. I swear upon my life..." Severus grumbled angrily, exiting the store under the close watch of two security guards. Remus sidled up beside him, looking uneasily at their security escort.

"Oh, it wasn't _that _bad..." he mumbled jokingly. Severus stopped and glared at him.

"What?"

Severus shook his head and turned out the door, Remus right behind him.

Artimis raced up after with two or three bags, smirking as she exited the store. "Whoa, We have _got _to do this again sometime...I still have to get that pair of boots... C'mon Alexis, quit arguing."

The two professors waited outside the door, and Artimis turned to go back in, but the two guards stepped in front of her. Artimis halted, glaring. "So rude..."

"But, but, but... I didn't start it! It was an accident, I swear! I said I'd pick them up... for a price..." Alexis whined, being dragged out by two employees, who ignored her. They pushed her out, one grabbing the blue vest clutched in her hands.

"Hey! I worked hard to get that away from that dude..."

Alexis stalked back towards them, bags in hand, but Remus grabbed her arm and started pulling her towards their Jeep, Severus practically running to get to it and out of this nightmare. Alexis went as if to get in the driver's seat, but Remus stopped her. "I think I should drive home this time..."

"Whatever. Where should we put our stuff?"

Remus looked at Severus, and he shook his head. "You have got to be kidding."

"Either sit in back with them or walk."

Severus thought a moment, then turned towards the road and took a step towards it. Remus and Alexis laughed while Artimis grabbed him and pushed him towards the vehicle. "Get in and quit being a jerk about it..."

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The small dashboard clock flashed 10:35pm as Remus pulled the dark blue Wrangle into the driveway of Manor Dela Loyalty. It was oddly quiet in the car, the two young women actually forgetting to crank the stereo up to pounding on the way back.

"Hey guys, we're here." He called, pushing one of the numerous bags in the front passenger seat out of his way. There was no reply. He turned in his seat to see what was up and smirked.

Severus had sat in the middle, being too late to grab a window seat from one of the women. His head lolled back against the seat in sleep, and Artimis lay resting her head on his shoulder, hand on his arm. Alexis's feet were dangling out the window as she slept with her head in Severus's lap.

He smiled and carefully extracted the camera from Alexis's grip, quickly snapping a few pictures before grabbing some bags and exiting the car, several snores emitting from the cuddled, sleeping forms.

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End file.
